If I could turn back time, I wouldn’t change when I made the wrong decision, when I felt sad or betrayed, or when I could have altered the outcome of my life all together. No… the feelings of a scraped knee or a damaged pride are petty and incomparable to what I would change if I could turn back time.
I would go back to a time where I was oblivious to what was going on around me. A time where I didn’t question the morals of the people who “cared” for me and “loved” me. A time when I had the perfect family and all was right in the world. Kisses and hugs were my life force and the only thing I ever worried about was if I would get a turn on the computer.
I would go back to a time where I asked my dad, “Hey dad, why is mom falling over?” simply because I didn’t know that a mom could be any less than perfect. I wish that I never realized that my mom would go to bed before me as a child, just because she had begun drinking as early as noon, every…single….day.
I so wish and beg that I could go back to a time where I didn’t constantly notice the fridge stocked with cans of “Bud Light” and cheap wines bought from the liquor store just down the street. I’d go back to when juice boxes and milk for cereal were the only things that ever stocked the fridge… at least in my innocent eyes.
Mom, I wish you weren’t the monster that my older siblings said you were. Today I can only say, you are the monster that shoots through my brain when anxiety turns me into shambles at the sight of alcohol. Mom, you have put me an eternal bind of confusion. Should I love my mom, as is natural for most children, or resent the monster that has taken her place.
If I could go back, I’d want to grow up knowing that my paradise of childhood will end abruptly.
If I Could Turn Back Time
When I watch a horror movie, I always need my blanket, my teddy bear, and a human body to hide behind. The eerie music will hum and I will cover my ears and eyes in fear of a jump scare. I can feel the hair on the back of my neck shoot outwards in anticipation of impending doom that may or may not linger around every corner. Sweat will dampen my skin, regardless of how cold it might be. My heart pulsates violently against my chest, as if I were in actual danger.
Once the movie is over, I am left with nothing but the even more horrifying thoughts of the human mind. The monster under the bed seems even more real than when I was a child, asking my parents to check the closet. All door, windows, blinds, and crevices must be plugged so that no creatures can linger in the shadows. Spiritual items will find themselves around my neck in the hopes that any movie related evil spirits will not infiltrate the internal temple of my soul. I am so vulnerable.
I love it.
The adrenaline rushing through my veins, filling me with life. The primal instincts of “fight or flight” have been reintroduced because I know that when things begin to go downhill, I will be ready. I have never felt so alive! The fear, the panic, and the anxiety fills the void that can not be filled by everyday comforts that we indulge in from 8AM to bedtime. In my college life, the most excitement I feel is the sense of achievement when I get a perfect score on my exam, so a little uncomfortableness from a movie is a great way to unwind!
One final note is that, the fear and anxiety from watching a scary movie can be much more comically satisfying when watching it with a friend who gets scared by their own sneeze! There is nothing like scaring the heck out of your best friend! Am I right?
This is my writing prompt to Fright Night Enjoy!
As a college student, the opportunities of learning a second language are almost used so that I can be a step above others when I search for career. If I learn Arabic, one might suggest that I now have the credentials to be a professional businessman in Middle Eastern Trade, or that as a political science major, I will be more useful if I apply for a position within the State Department of The United States. Throughout my whole entire life I’ve learned that I should memorize another language because it will help me out when I am older, but what does that mean?
A language is a beautiful thing. The symbols that make words are crafted with ancient origins. The words that are spread like wildfire within communities can spout effects of happiness from a significant other who says, “I love you.” to the feeling of empowerment when Martin Luther King Jr. addressed our hurting nation at the Lincoln Memorial.
Language shouldn’t be taught just so that an aspiring businessman can land a job, but because we are all human and, without language, would never have any emotional, friendly, spiteful, and interpersonal connection. We use foreign language to express our love and respect for others, much like how the Ukrainian Prime Minister, following the successful Ukrainian revolution in 2014, spoke to the world in English. The prime minister spoke in English as a subliminal form of thank you to the supportive Western Nations.
Issues like destructive Climate Change and global massacres need to be treated by the gentle hand of global unity. The unity found around the world be be solidified by the warm embrace of one language that shows love by the words of another language.
Let’s start with hello, or as written in Arabic, أهلا