A Shell of a Child

Never have I felt more alone than in the place I should feel loved

Home

I never can escape the fear…the pure horror of a child’s mind

The feeling of play…of love…is too unfamiliar

It sits and it wrenches my eyes with tears

Like a victim living with her abuser

Like cancer living in its desecrated body

I have no where to go

I am alone

Watching you sit in the tub…blood poured

yelling, “Mommy wake up.”

But you laid there, penetrating my mind

Pills on the floor

Booze dripping on the side of your lip

Eyes wide and without any life inside

“Why won’t you wake up?”

Eight years old….

I became a shell of a child

But,you aren’t the only one dying mommy

For when I go home, I come a little bit closer to my own death

I come a little closer to giving into my fear

When I go home

I become a shell of a child

When I go home…

Please don’t make me go…

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s